Again with the unexcused absences…
Man, if this was school I’d have been expelled long ago for how many times I don’t show up!
I can’t even remember the last time I sat down to write anything other than posts on Facebook and maybe a page or so in the fiction novel that will never end. Oh and texts… there are about 200 of those a day but they don’t count as writing, in my book. I’ve not been idle, however.
I have been crocheting like a madwoman, hats and scarves, slippers and now a knee length sweater that will be my very own. Also I am teaching myself to knit, which is frustrating because I want to be faster at it like I am with crocheting. I’ve also been putting together a notebook of record concerning the thyroid disease that plagues my life day and night. Eventually I have to go to a doctor here and hope they treat me better than the doctors up North did, and perhaps even consider my obsessive compulsive natural tendencies to be a help rather than me being a depressed hypochondriac and that my illness is all in my head. The crocheting helps greatly with my anxiety and stress, and I get cool stuff out of it, so yay me for finding a useful and productive way to manage part of my life!
My lack of focus today is driving me batty so I forced myself to sit down and put some of whats in my head down in this format. If you could see how many times I have corrected misspelled words in just this much of this blog so far, you would understand just how bad my antsy-ness really is… the brain farts that I’ve been having for the last few weeks have finally spilled over into my hands. Usually its just a brain mouth disconnection… meaning I think one word and say another that happens to be similar to the one my brain thought of but not quite right. Sometimes its almost like I’m having mini strokes, that’s what I call them anyway. I can’t make my mouth and brain cooperate… sometimes I drop letters or even replace them with others in the middle of words. Brain fog is one of the worst symptoms of thyroid disease for a writer to have.
I fear if I don’t do something, my brain is just going to turn to mush. So once again I have decided that this outlet is a good place to start. The fiction novel that has been in progress since like 2006 or 2007 is never going to be published because it started out as a fan fic and went insane. There is so much good stuff in there associated with characters that can’t be changed and to try to publish using those characters would be one hell of a lawsuit in copyright claims court… I don’t know if there is really such a thing but see what I mean? I had the phrase I wanted to use right there in my mind and it just *Poof* went away before my fingers could type it.
I’ve had other novel ideas… fictional, non fictional, darn near autobiographical… but getting my mind and body to cooperate long enough to churn out more than a few hundred words at a time is a miracle some days. So I’m going to jot down the ideas (In the old days that meant post it notes, hundreds of post its all over my desk and wall) and write what I can, when I can. I leave you with one of my favorite quotes…